Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
thus making me awesome and them whores
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Randomize
