ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize