just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
