I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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