she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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