I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
This is my gift to your gina
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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