Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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