would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
