he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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