yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
