fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We are all done wearing pants today
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
