I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
