so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
