And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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