if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
