ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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