Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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