ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We are two peas in an std pod
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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