Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
