Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
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