The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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