Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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