I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
