I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
