i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
