his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
