yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Drunk is a universal language darling
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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