Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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