so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
