I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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