It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
