I think im going to throw up on grandma
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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