Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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