That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
There r osticjed everywhere
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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