I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
