Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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