so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
