Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
No...this little piggys going to the bar
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
