Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
