I'll bet she douches with gravy.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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