somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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