I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
