your room smells of hookers.
And success
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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