well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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