so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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