How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
