if you like me you must not know who I am
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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