it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
