just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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