Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You had me at "let me see your balls"
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
