he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
