when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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