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his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I had to cum in my sink.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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