Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
