GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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