im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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