I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
