You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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