If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
