This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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