so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It's blow job season.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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