When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
