I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
