He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
