some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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