So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
