is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
well you can't waste a boner
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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