dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I stole a fireplace last night.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
