Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
