Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
