She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
