you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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