May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Shame - the story of my life.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
