he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Are my feet made of real feet?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
