This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize