Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
