my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize