that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
