Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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