the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you didnt know i had herpes?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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