Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
