new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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