This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
