bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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